Update! Update! Update!

30 04 2009

The pettiest story in the history of time continues to evolve….

"Jane, you ignorant slut."

Read the initial post here and the first follow-up here.

UPDATED UPDATE UPDATED:

Oh jesus god.

Zomg it’s like the Paris Peace Conference, the Council of Nicea and Appomatox Courthouse all rolled into one!





Michael Patrick Leahy is officially insane

30 04 2009

Just hours after “going Specter” and getting his whiny ass dumped by the Teabag Mafia for being a snivvly little shit due to his inability to work in a group decision-making environment, new-media genius Michael Patrick “Douchenozzle” Leahy publicly accepted a completely imaginary invitation to meet with President Obama at the White House.

Seriously, eat a bag of dicks.

He also made this increadibly stupid graphic:

Fugly

This is what happens when you let Morans play with Microsoft WordArt.

Grassroots!





TCOT (Teabagger Catfight On Twitter)

30 04 2009

More TCOT developments here and here

Sorry kids, Mom and Dad are getting a divorce. And yeah, it is kind of your fault. 

This morning teabagger-in-chief and “Top Conservatives on Twitter” (TCOT) co-founder Rob Neppell posted this message on TopConservativesOnTwitter.org (which has since been removed) outlining his decision to shut down the site and encouraging fellow TCOT co-founder and notorious douchenozzle Michael Patrick Leahy to, essentially, eat a bag of dicks.

According to the note, Leahy also “was recently asked to leave the leadership team of Tea Party Patriots” “due to his inability to work in a group decision-making environment.” Oh, snap.

Revolution is never easy.

Suck it, Leahy

UPDATED 1:50 p.m.  PDT

Bros before hoes.





Heated Debate vs. Hate Speech

30 04 2009

For all the shit I give the wingnuts, conservatwits and teabaggers in this space, it’s important to remember that there is a big, wide chasm between people with whom I fervently disagree/think are completely laughable/are embarrassingly insane, and people who are truly the lowest of the low — hatemongers, bigots, cowards and bullies. People like North Carolina Congresswoman Virginia Foxx, who stood on the floor of the United States House of Representatives and dismissed the brutal murder, prolonged torture and obvious gay-bashing of 21-year-old Matthew Shepard as a “hoax”:

“I also would like to point out that there was a bill — the hate crimes bill that’s called the Matthew Shepard bill is named after a very unfortunate incident that happened where a young man was killed, but we know that that young man was killed in the commitment of a robbery. It wasn’t because he was gay,” Foxx said.  She added: “This — the bill was named for him, hate crimes bill was named for him, but it’s really a hoax that that continues to be used as an excuse for passing these bills.”

Matt Shepard’s mother was in the gallery.

Personally I think Ms. Foxx deserves to be run out of Washington on a rail, but at the very, very least she owes a personal apology both to Judy Shepard and to the people of the 5th District of North Carolina, who she purports to represent.

Please take a moment to let Congresswoman Foxx know what you think about her comments today in one or more of the following ways.

    They’ll also have a petition online shortly. Stay tuned.  

  • Contact her via her official Twitter account @VirginiaFoxx
  • Join the FireFoxx group on Facebook
  • Submit a Letter to the Editor to the largest newspaper in her district, the Winston-Salem Journal
  • Call her DC office at (202) 225-2071
  • Pass this post along

And now, back to your regularly scheduled snark.

 

UPDATE 4/30:

From our friend Jerimee, online communications director at the North Carolina Democratic Party:

We ought to let Rep. Foxx know that this cruel political attack is unacceptable. Unfortunately, she isn’t responding to calls from her constituents. While she may try to ignore her constituents, there is one constituent she won’t be able to ignore: Senator Richard Burr.

Please call Richard Burr at (202) 224-3154 and ask him to tell Virginia Foxx that the crime committed against Matthew Shepard is NOT a hoax.

Once you finish making the call please email me at jrichir@ncdemocraticparty.org to let us know know how Sen. Burr’s office responded. Thank you for taking action.

They’ll also have a petition online soon. Stay tuned.





100 days of Mexican Pig Death Liveblog

30 04 2009

0503: Pigpox!

0504: Budget! Sexxxy!

0505: 1st glass of wine = poured

0507: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST i had a faster connection than this on a goddam airplane.

0508: Wow, that didn’t last very long. (that’s what she said)

0510: How does Chuck Todd get his hair so shiny? Conditioner?

0512: Why are you so filthy, America?

0513: Detroit News? Whaa???

0515: Okay, who told Helen Thomas this was a costume presser?

0516: Why am I liveblogging in question form?

0519: BO is sorta making David Pattersen eyes. The torture question is not a surprise, right?

0520: Way to follow up with the ONLY PART OF THE QUESTION HE ANSWERED ALREADY. Jeez.

0523: CHUCK.

0524: “No jobs, no schools, no rule of law.” Pakistan sounds a lot like Detroit.

0528: Chip=TIE FAIL

0531: Glass of wine #2

0532: “Hey GOP: Suck it.”

0533: BO “doesn’t believe in crystal balls.” BUT WHAT ABOUT TRUCK NUTZ, SIR?

0534: Ah ha, Ed Henry. Ask about AIG!

0536: “Freedom of choice is not my top legislative priority.” OHHHH.

0537: Enchanted? Christ, Zeleny, you would ask that.

0541: We get it, BO, you love soldiers, BLAH BLAH BLAH. You should have said Michelle’s arms.

0543: WHY IS HE STILL ANSWERING THIS DUMB, DUMB QUESTION?

0544: Better answer: “McCain? Hm. Doesn’t ring any bells, no.”

0548: Somebody has not been reading his Byron York, obvs. Stupid question. The black unemployment rate would be so much lower if we didn’t count ALL THE BLACK PEOPLE.

0552: Glass o wine #2 = DUNZO.

0553: War joke! Hilarity!

0554: “Umbilical cord between auto companies and US Treasury.” Thanks for the visual, Barry.

0556: FOUR MINUTES TIL EAST COAST LOST. Wrap it up, ppl.

0558: “We’ve got a big set of … challenges.”

0559: Done! CHUG!

0600: WHEW. I need a cigarette.





Did you know that there is this congresswoman, from Minnesota, and that she is insane?

29 04 2009

Yes! In fact, the DCCC has a whole special blog devoted just to her manic ramblings. 

Here she is on C-SPAN, last night, talking about gay crosswalks and the government peering into the mind of crossdressers. Democracy!

It’s arguably even more fun in transcript format

If you have an individual going through a crosswalk and a person is in their car and they hit that person in the crosswalk, it is up to the person who is hit to file the charge if it was a hate crime or not. So if the person is gay, and that is the status that is being protected, and the person driving the car is straight, would it be a hate crime if the person driving the car who is straight hit the person who is gay in the crosswalk? So does it say, then, that that life that was hit in the crosswalk is more valuable because it was a gay life versus if the person who was in the car, who is gay, who hits the person in the crosswalk, who is straight, does that mean that the straight person in the crosswalk doesn’t have a cause of action against the person who is gay who is driving that car? 

Watching Michele Bachmann speak is like doing PCP, but with worse side effects.





Vive la Resistance

29 04 2009

Have you heard of ResistNet? It’s like Teabagging, but actually crazier and with an even poorer grasp of basic web design!

Like the 700 or so other hastily created teabagger social networks (or “Nings” as the kids are calling them now), you basically hand over your email address and they spam you forever with assorted Truth Alerts about Hussein NObambi’s FACIST plan to spend all ur muneez to bail out the abortion industry and whatnot. Oh and p.s., they’d like for you to send your hard-earned  welfare dollars Bachmanneros as a “donation” in exchange for this very fancy booklet Resistance Manual about how Nobama is going to fuck everything up goodbye America the end.

It's so lonely over here.

I literally cannot wait to see who these people nominate in 2012.